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April 2005 I have quoted directly from my book to capture some of the salient points. Enjoy! Body-Centered Coaching
The body is an under-utilized resource for learning and change. The practice of body-centered coaching is based on the premise that the body has a natural intelligence and wisdom that can offer coaches, and consequently their clients, a new depth of learning. It involves being curious and intuitive about the language and signals the body is sending. Interpreting the information and then integrating it opens many more creative pathways for both coaches and clients. You cannot talk clients out of their perspective; the change needs to be experienced through the body. Your subconscious mind often speaks to you through your body. Your body’s wisdom can best be accessed by noticing - being curious about it and respecting that its language is different from cognitive and verbal language. Some expressions that are used to talk about the body’s language are “sixth sense”, “inner knowing”, “gut reaction”, “still small voice” or “somatic intelligence”. The process of embodiment involves embracing body, mind and spirit to become a fully integrated person. The practice of body-centered coaching works with the inter-relationship of the internal and the external. The internal involves having your clients notice their internal experience: their body sensations and the signals and messages their body is sending. The external expands the internal experience to include external body experience in the form of posture, gesture or changes in body position. When clients move even slightly, the energy can shift to connect the totality of body, mind and, spirit - embracing the inter-relationship of all. By involving the wholeness of the body, there is more data available and the learning becomes more fully integrated. The practice of body-centered coaching recognizes that body, mind and spirit are different aspects of your whole being, like different doorways into the same house. Sometimes your heart wants to go in one direction and your mind in another. When you pay attention to body, mind and spirit equally, you listen with all parts of your being - eyes, ears, heart, soul, body, mind – allowing for all parts to be heard and respected. The individual parts partner with each other for the greatest good - for you, those around you and for the environment. You need to listen to your heart’s wisdom, as well as your mind. Although you will be using the body as an avenue for insight and learning, the reality is that you are a whole person. Embodiment of body, mind and spirit speaks to who you are BEING in the world: what you stand for - your values - your purpose - your passions - how you express yourself creatively - how you maximize your gifts, strengths, talents and creativity - how you express what you intend in each moment. Who you are BEING as a coach is one of the greatest assets that you bring to your clients through the coaching relationship. You bring the true spirit of who you are: the essential, authentic, and unique aspects of you. You bring the part of you that can most effectively relate to others and to the world around you, feeling at ease and connected with your own body, mind and spirit. As a coach, you have the wonderful opportunity to share in another person’s life. Consider for a moment all of your coaching skills - the concepts, ideas and strategies that you have in your coaching toolkit. The integration of all of these is vitally important. Who you are, however, is what brings your work alive and allows you to be yourself and be with your clients in a way that is fulfilling for both of you. It is the difference between doing coaching vs. being a coach. When being is in place, then doing can occur in a more meaningful way. Sometimes people complain that we act as if we are human doings rather than human beings. This is a misunderstanding of your nature. You are a doer. You are designed to do. However, doing is not the opposite of being; you are a human being who does things. Even resting is something you do: so are thinking, eating, sleeping, reading and playing. It’s more a question of:
Being with yourself and with another person involves being in the present moment: in the now. When you are in the now, your compassion, intuition, curiosity and imagination are more accessible to you. It brings you to your essence. Being in the now quiets your mind. It is the ability to be with all that is happening in the moment; it is being conscious and aware of what’s going on inside you, with your client, and in the surrounding environment. Few people have the experience of truly being heard. Fully listening to your clients is a wonderful gift that you can offer them. Listening is a complex activity which involves paying attention at many levels at the same time, so skillful listening takes practice. Being self-aware is the foundation for fully listening to another person. Your way of being as a listener directly impacts your clients and has the power to impact them positively or negatively. Your clients’ feeling of safety, trust in self, self-esteem and potential for personal growth can be significantly affected by your level of good will, awareness and expertise as a listener. In this chapter, I will discuss the distinction between empowered and disempowered listening and the impact of each on your client. Empowered listening is a way of being, a way of being fully present - body, mind and spirit. Empowered listening is being curious and paying attention to our clients without anything else interfering in the process. With empowered listening we will hear the essence of what is being said and find ourself whole-heartedly open to our intuition and creativity. We will be more present and receptive and be more natural, appropriate and creative with our responses. It is empowering for both people. The impact of empowered listening on our clients is that they have the rare and cherished experience of being heard; they feel understood and accepted. It is clear that we care about them and this opens space for considerably more depth in their conversations. The person begins to speak from their past experiences, from their present moment experience and from their dreams for the future. They may begin to speak in more depth about things of which they were not previously aware. This unconditional way of listening invites our clients to continue to speak because there is little to resist. As they keep speaking they may become even more powerful in our presence and come to believe and trust that they indeed have their own answers. When you are listening, there are two potential levels for focus. You can focus on the story or you can focus on the storyteller. The story consists of the details about various aspects of your client’s life - the who, the where and the what. The story can often be intriguing and interesting and it is very easy to get mesmerized by the details. If you stay focused on the details, however, you may miss the opportunity to connect in an empowered way with your client’s inner experience. Or, you can be curious about the storyteller and begin to get a sense of the essence of his or her internal experience. By acknowledging the essence, rather than the details, you provide the opportunity for the client to feel heard and understood in new ways. The more you are self-aware and in touch with your body experience, the more easily you can encourage your clients to have an awareness of their mind-body-spirit inter-connections. You become more connected with your true center when you shift away from ordinary awareness to self-awareness or what I call ‘being-awareness’. It involves being in the present moment and accessing your intuition. We all have a natural ability to notice and that ability gets better with practice. Body-Centered Coaching offers you:
As a helping professional, you bring your whole self to the process and thereby encourage your clients to do likewise. You can use this book to add a powerful new dimension to your work and create more success and well-being for both you and your clients. By using body-centered coaching you can encourage them to make better choices for themselves. Overall, you can assist clients to pay attention and to honor, trust and make use of the information they receive from their bodies. |